i love my parents ♥

i was brought up mainly by my grandparents and aunts,

cause my mom and dad were workaholics back then.

i rarely see them, except on thursdays when mom tended to take leave cause ahma had work.

even then i also had school. so the time i spent with my parents was quite limited.

in my eyes,

mom doted on me quite alot. hehehe. 

we've maintained an awesome bond till now. :D

dad was forever the fierce and stern one. he wouldnt hesitate to punish me if i got out of line.

even if sometimes its not even my fault. T.T *stares at jh*

so i've always been quite scared of him, till few years back.

its like he finally started to know me :D

dad and mom had been slogging their guts for the past few years to provide for us.

over the period of 5 years they've lost so much weight, gained so many aches and pains.

i really appreciate them for their selfless efforts. <3

i'm sort of thankful that they've decided to close the business.

though its my dad's dream to have his own eatery, but i feel like its a good thing.

because seeing them work their fingers to the bone, its damn sad and worrying.

its not easy to survive in this competitive industry, with rental and manpower problems.

and they're so much happier now without it. x)

their own work schedules are flexible, and they now have more time to spend with us.

both of them also gained weight! hahahah. 

and now that me and jh have both graduated, 

they kinda have lesser to worry about in terms of financial issues.

time for them to enjoy life liao. :D

老爸老妈，辛苦你们了。谢谢。 (:

birthday wishes

was having dinner at my grandmother's at woodlands,
and the topic somehow shifted to my birthday this year.

first thing my uncle said was, huh you're 21 this year already? .______.
and then he said, what present you want? 21's the only year you can ask for anything .

i thought about what he said for a while, and you know what?
i cant think of anything i want.

i know i have a list of shopping stuff and all that, but its nothing huge.
i dont need a new phone, or laptop. though jh is insisting that my laptop is dying. ._.
PLUS this laptop has gone through so much shit with me, i cant bear to change it!
all my memories from oltc and ocp and pbl leh <3
the biggest thing i ever want is a trip to Japan, but even i know it wont happen soon.

so i guess the practical thing to give me is cold hard cash. :x

but to be honest.. i dont want that either. hahahaha.
its so.. boring. lol. okay maybe impersonal is a better word.
i prefer my presents to have some thought and sincerity behind it.
doesnt have to be expensive.
like, you can give me a bottle of red tea and i'm gonna be v happy (and high, mwahaha)
*thats what stupid yj gave me for my 16th birthday. 1.2L of H&E green tea LOL.

same thing goes for celebrations.
i dont want a big event where everyone has to mingle. cause its just gonna be awkward.
i only want a day well spent. with the people i care about.

simplicity is always the best. (:

smoking.

smoking has been one of my most hated.
came across this thai ad that syai shared on fb.




like like like ! both me and jh wonder, how would Singaporeans react?

ITS PAYDAY!

and this is the best of all so far, because i finally get to enjoy the full bonus !
like omg i felt sooooo happy after seeing my account balance. LOL.

here's what i plan to do with my hard-earned cash.

- give 100 bucks each to laopeh laobu.
- treat my whole family to a meal
- school fees payment in sept. DAFUQ.
- sept lepak trip with ahpok. <3
- save for next year's taiwan trip with clique! omg this i cant wait. :D
- save for JAPAN. goodness knows when. HAHAH.
- clear some places off my glutton list !

and my shopping list. these are needs, not wants. :B

- flats
- forever21 jeans, light wash and black denim.
i'm running out of pants to wear to work; my current pairs feel loose :x
- small bag to replace my red field camp bag, which is falling to pieces soon.

suddenly feeling happier than i did in days. x)

anticipation x disappointment

ever get the feeling of looking forward to something, be it an event or person or item?

while waiting you feel so happy, you cant help but wish that each second could pass faster.

sometimes even waiting for it is okay, because you know it'll be worth it.

recall that feeling of euphoria?

but sometimes its not always a happy ending.

sometimes you'll find that the long anticipated moment can come crashing down on you .

at the last minute, the last second.

and then you'll think, what the fuck did i hang on for?

you feel so cheated, like the carpet's been pulled out underneath your feet.

you dont even know how to react.

so now i've learnt, 

always anticipate, but also expect disappointment.

cause if you get used to it, numbness will set in, and neutralised to only patience.

here's to forever waiting.

rantings. II

another mrt drama, this time featuring the commuters.
whats the issue now, you ask?

an aunty and a younger girl arguing over a reserved seat.


whats your first impression when you read the sentence?
who's fault do you think it was? 10 seconds to think!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
most people would automatically think its probably the young girl's fault.
but read on. (:

apparently the young one was sitting down, and the aunty had to ask her for it.
upon sitting down, the aunty still scolded her for being rude, and insulting her to be from China.
to her credit, the girl actually tolerated it for awhile, trying to distract herself with her phone.
but hell eventually broke loose and both were screaming at each other in public.

whose fault ?
i'd say, definitely the aunty

yes, the girl could have been more proactive, i.e. giving up the seat automatically.
but this is definitely naive thinking.
how many people do you see, who give up seats to others who need it more?
and how many people do you see, ignoring the pregnant/injured/elderly?
the latter definitely preceeds the former.

even i, myself, am not perfect.
i know i tend to fall asleep on the train, so i try to take the non-reserved seats as much as i can.
actually i try to stand more, LOL.
cause i know i'll be a potential head-nodder/shoulder-leaner :x

and sometimes even when i wish to offer my seat, i will hesitate.
because there are stupid people who will rush over once my butt leaves halfway.
happened so many fucking times alr, you'd think they're about to faint or what sia. -.-
anyway my trick is i try to catch the attention of my target, and make sure he/she is otw.
which is hard to do on crowded trains. potentially paiseh hahah.

this wont happen if everyone had more consideration for each other.
i quote my awesome colleague siti.
"seriously, if ppl want to give up their seats, they WILL give up their seats, sticker or no sticker."

but i digress.

the main point of my rantings is the general attitude of the elderly in Singapore.

i've seen and observed enough at my workplace, far more than enough actually.
and i can tell you, the society is going to the dogs.

since young i've been raised to show respect towards my elders.
i would try as much as possible to help them if i can.
being advanced in age, they're not as clear-minded or fast, so some patience is needed.

but old people nowadays are not as simple.
i would go to the extent to say that they use age to manipulate you 
i know it sounds very jialat, but its the bitter truth.
they behave as if you owe them the respect, as if you should bow to their every whim and fancy.
they'll demand sympathy and understanding. yes i use the word demand.
they even fake ignorance and push the blame to you for not reminding them.
make one mistake and they'll scold you for being inexperienced, just because you're young.
(okay maybe its just my xmm face, LOL)
they even have split personalities. give in to them and they're nice; you dont, they become nasty.
and they dont even say a simple thank you, or feel grateful.
its expected of you to give in to them, even if they are wrong.

and i would say that the situation is only going to get worse,
judging by the patients in their mid-40s whom i encounter.
by then i do NOT want to be working in the polyclinic. *shudders*

anyway, of course not all elderly people i come across are like that.
there are those who thank you repeatedly, those who silently smile and listen.
they respect you for providing guidance, and are grateful.
they accept your help and even feel apologetic about bothering you.

because they dont act like they deserve it. which makes them deserve it even more.
they are the ones who earn my respect.

and in my opinion,
respect earned is more worth than respect due to.
its the most valuable and sincere.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

if you changed, would it all still remain the same?

a glutton's wishlist.

om nom nom.
making myself a list of places i want to try when i'm in a glutton mood ! :D

- hatched
- tonkatsu by ma maison
- wild honey
- eggs and berries.
- tcc. (yes embarassingly i have NEVER been there. going soon with jh for the 1-for-1!)
- paradise dynasty. for the multi-colored xlb!

MUST TRY ONE DAY BEFORE I DIE.

and places where i want to go again.


- MARCHE. fuck i've been saying this for 3 years !
- ramen play. i forsee bimb will be bugging me to go soon so this is not so bad.
- spaghetti goemon. me and ahsai's favourite.
- sakae teppanyaki !
- marukin ramen
- ding tai fung. i miss the fried rice. LOLOL.
- temasek poly. ( for the mensa dory fish/bizpark chicken cutlet/itas curry chicken)
- genting's dimsum place. for the AWESOME EGG TARTS AND CHEESE PRAWN ROLL.

okay, seriously i'm feeling damn hungry now.

and i realised, majority of the places specialise in japan cuisine. :B
which is somewhat a bad thing cause this means ahpok is highly unlikely to join me. damn.

rantings

shittiest week ever at work. and it seems like its gonna be like that for awhile. :/
being runner and phlebotomist at the same time is no joke, i swear i can lose weight.
sometimes i feel like storming out of the lab and taking the bus home sia.
especially when we're trying our very best to clear the crowd,
and some patients decide to be complete assholes. _l_

take for example, this guy who purposely looked at his watch when he finally came into the lab.
his queue number was 8x(?), he pointedly shook his head.
later on when i took his blood, he actually said this:
"you all very slow today, usually i wait longest 40 mins. today 1 hour"
i pointed out that we're shorthanded, with only FOUR staff working instead of the usual six.
and he SHAKE HIS BALD HEAD, AND SAID "then you all should be faster. very slow leh"
!@#$%^&

another example.
this impatient guy wanted to multitask and check on his doctor's queue number.
my colleague asked him not to leave the queue, cause his turn was coming soon,
and we dont have the manpower to go looking for him.
he rebutted with "no staff go find staff la! this is your problem"
fuck you la, you think any dog or cat can work meh.
so easy to find staff i would've bought them online liao. zzzz.

another example.
wah this one, i dont wanna be racist also cant.
indian father, carrying his newborn baby for the jaundice test.
i told the mother to wait outside, cause we have limited space and a one-to-one policy.
and then i sat down to take the baby's blood.
i asked for the baby's left leg. HE TRIED TO PUT THE BABY ON THE TABLE.
told him, NO, you carry him. HE TRIED TO MAKE ME CARRY THE BABY. 
dafuq.

so the mother heard the commotion and u-turned. she didnt make things better wtf, just stand there.
i ask her to please go out, the dad say what. "she's the mother, cant she stay here?"
NO. so the stupid lady went out, muttering abt me not being able to communicate.
FUCK i think its your husband being stupid please.

oh they were a twenty-ish young couple, not the sari-wearing old fashioned kind.
so somebody tell me why they're so ignorant and block-headed? -.-
maybe i didnt shake my head enough, or maybe they're still using infrared.


oh and the worst kind.
tell them wait outside, they go see doctor.
tell them to go home, they wait outside for their receipt.
and when they realise their mistake, they claim,
AIYA, WHY YOU NVR TELL ME. MAKE ME WAIT WAIT WAIT.
or
MY DOCTOR ASK ME FOR RESULT, WHY YOU NVR GIVE ME.
sighhhhh. i dont retina scan your blood and come up with results immediately pls.
we're technologically advanced but not THAT good.


seriously some times i just wanna throttle patients who refuse to LISTEN.
hello, you're in MY LAB. YOU listen to ME. not the other way round !
and this is HEALTHCARE, not customer service.
THE CUSTOMER IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT.

its really a pain in the ass when they insist that we should accomodate to them.
especially when its against our protocol.
its just NOT DONE AUNTY, CANNOT HORH UNCLE.
and dont think i look xmm means i dont know HOW TO PRICK YOUR FINGER.

damn i'm getting worked up. lol.
really limitless leh, the stuff i can complain about.
maybe one day i should publish a book on this. >:/

okay la some patients are also damn nice la.

one uncle smiled and said, "okay la, no staff i join you. come, give me instructions."
and some people told us, "wah, xin ku ni men le", and complimented us on our speed.
actually they dont even have to compliment us. (cause i know we're efficient, LOL *diudiu*)
just a simple, sincere thank you or a smile from them, its enough.
at least our effort is recognized, and they understand our predicament.

so yes, i do derive some satisfaction from these nice people.
and this job is sorta worth it because of them.
especially those old people who keep thanking us and smiling toothlessly. :B

and of course, the BONUS.
omg i'm gonna be rich on 25th June. HAHAHAHAH.
planning to treat my family to a meal!
they are alr deciding between ding tai fung or aston's liao WTF. :x

gratitude

i generally find myself an easy person to please; usually i dont ask for much.
cause i've learnt that high expectations can only lead to great disappointment.
so to reduce my risk of getting depression, i request from myself to only do the best i can.
as long as i have given my all, i shouldnt regret. (:

and it doesnt just apply to me, but to the people around me too.

simple random acts which show their concern, is enough to make me really blessed and happy.
which is why i'm feeling so superbly grateful for the people who are always there for me.
my family, boyfriend and clique. <3 them lots.

whenever i find myself on the verge of giving up, they always have my back.
with their words of encouragements and actions, they're part of the reason why i persevere.
cause i dont wanna disappoint their faith in me. (:

i tell myself,
先苦后甜。加油靖婷 ！:D

hurt

有一天，我真的会崩溃。
不是突然累了，是很累很累了。

why do i end up hurting those i care about?

blanko. or blanco?

sometimes i wish i could rewind back to certain times and wipe out that moment.
then maybe these events would never have happened.

yes there might be losses, everything might change.
some existences would cease, and some others may result.
we might all be happier now, but we may also not be.
we might gain, and yet lose what we have now.
seems like that single key point back in time was the reason for everything now.

whats the point of saying this again?

oh.
just to remind myself that everything, good or bad, happens for a reason.
and its shaped us to who we are today.

good, or bad?

TGIF !

in full appreciation of the weekend after this busy busy week.
had lectures for the whole week except thurs and sun, omg no joke.
thank goodness next week will be toned down.

true, i still have lecture tmr afternoon, but i'll be seeing my awesome pbl group after tt ! :D
so its not so bad.
and thank you ahpok, for sending me to school on two occasions. <3

today was awesome.
lab finished earlier than expected, cause of my ever efficient lab partner LEVON TEO. <3
she had craving for tom's palette, so off we went.

there's nothing like ice-cream and bestfs to end a hectic week :B

tom's palette is really om nom nom, i love their creative flavours.
so far i've tried Guinness stout, Green Tea, Mango Sticky Rice, Granny's Fav, Asian Tea,
some crumble thingy that has the magic 'sparkly' powder in it,
and my ever favourite Salted Caramel Cheesecake ! hehehe.
i never fail to order that every time i go. :B

next time i want to try the Lavender ice-cream. and the Yuzu flavor. #happyglutton

_________________________________________________________________________

nothing in life is absolute, so treasure every second.
cause you never know if you'll have another day.
you dont want to leave with regrets.