Friday, May 31, 2013

compositions II

Goodbye is always the hardest word

Another pop-up notification. She stoically ignored it, but deep within she wished she had the courage to respond. Leaning back into her plush chair, she heaved a huge sigh. Detachment. She resumed her work, resigning herself to fate.

She’d never expected coping with a permanent loss to be so painful, so heartbreaking. What made matters worse was the constant reminders. Bookmarks of memories which kept triggering her tears, slicing her scars. Why must separation be so painful?

Perhaps the most heartrending of all was the sudden shock, the sudden impact. In a flash, in a bang, everything she thought she once had was eradicated. It was as if it never existed.

Her friends told her to get over it. We don’t want to see you unhappy, grieving. What’s not meant to be will never be. Focus on the future, don’t let yourself be lost in the past. Move on. Kind words which sympathized, which should have been comforting. Didn’t they know that words are easy to spit out, but actions are harder and emotions are impossible to control?

Misery. Laced with guilt and topped with regret. A constant mix of feelings. Maybe if she’d handled it better, it might have been a different story. Not a tragic ending. Now she only had herself blame, for her lack of tact.

Back once again, to the same spot. She sighed inwardly, knowing that today was probably the last time she would ever stand here; the final resting place. It was time to act, time to close the book at the final chapter. To lock everything deep into the recesses of her heart. Maybe it was the best way, the only way out. She took another deep breath.

A single solitary tear dripped to the ground. She murmured an apology to her hamster, buried deep within. Such foolishness on her part, for neglecting to feed the furry critter for two days. A mistake which was fatal for the greedy pet.

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love my twist? heheh.

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