fucking giving up.

i dont often think very negative thoughts,
but when i do, usually its cause i've reached breaking point.

tired of constantly trying to imagine a silver lining in every cloud.
tired of telling myself that everything is gonna turn out fine.

its about time i faced the fact that my clique is no longer the same.
everyone has their own agenda, their own purpose.
its not really just about busy schedules.
its just plainly that we are not each other's priority anymore.
i can dare to say that for me and shirlee, we have made enough effort.
our first thoughts for trying new stuff has been with the clique.
but no one else is intrsted.

dont say go overseas, go dinner also hard.
everyone's excuse range expanded until i cant even keep up anymore.
yes, its all fucking excuses.
please dont think i cant tell.

i'm sick of trying to entertain those excuses.
disgusted by whatever lies or pretense you have under your sleeve.
dont want say dont want, dont fucking tell me see how, confirm later.
i dont need you to entertain me.

now on, i'm not gonna accommodate anyone any longer.
you can make it, feel like coming, you're welcome.
if not, shut up.

i've reached a point where i have no choice but to accept the facts.
facts which i've actually known long ago.
what you want may never happen, what you dont want can happen anytime..