dreams

a dream is a wish your heart makes, when you're fast asleep.
in dreams you will lose your heartaches, whatever you wish for you keep
have faith in your dreams and someday, your rainbow will come smiling through

no matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing

the dream that you wish will come true

who doesnt have dreams?

since young i've dreamed of being a teacher or a doctor.
there were others too; paramedic, nurse, cook.
but these two were my real and still valid considerations.
actually thinking about it, 3 out of 5 are linked to healthcare, hahah.

family influence is a v strong factor for me :B
i've both heard and witnessed my uncle and aunts' experiences at work.
it inspired me because they helped people at critical moments with their professionalism.
its definitely not about the glory that the job title gives, definitely not.

but this dream is not easy to achieve.

the thing is, i got back my previous module's results today evening, and was happy like crazyyy.
cause with this decisive grade, my GPA finally meets the requirements for Aus medicine school.(!)
at least at this point of time la. :x

so i told myself,
i really need to focus and put in more effort to not just maintain, but try pull it even higher.
and its not going to be easy cause i've heard year three modules are gonna be very taxing.
but i will try my very best; that i promise myself and those who believe in me. :)

and then the very happy me decided to check local med schools to view their entry requirements.
because well, overseas med school will cost a bomb.
local is still bombastic but on a smaller scale. so just see see la.

which was kind of a wrong move. cause it demoralised me quite abit.

seems like smaller bombs has more requirements to fulfill.

lets compare, shall we?

both are postgraduate courses, and require MCAT entrance exams and an interview.
and thats were the similarities end.

Aus MS states the minimum GPA required.
Local MS? omg they dont even state. they just tell you outstanding achievements.
plus testimonials/ reference letters from 3 - 5 mentors highlighting capabilities are needed.

dafuq.

i'm an okay student; i started out really well, but slipped along the way during sec 3.
its kind of a regret for me; i shouldnt have gotten distracted, shouldnt have gotten demoralised.
i should have carried on mugging and not cared about how my marks paled in comparison to others.
i should have continued being a geek :B

i dont regret where it has taken me though,
because i came out a stronger person with my own (sometimes stubborn) principles.
and i've come to meet some of the most important people in my life right now (:

but i just cant help thinking how it would have been less of a war if i hadnt slipped.
how things would have gone if i had performed as what was expected.
how i would have proven my uncle right.
he actually mentioned that he thought i had the potential to go MS, and take over his clinic one day.

it sucks to know that i proved him wrong ):

i can only thank goodness my parents never blamed me for sliding.
they've always trusted us to do our best, to make whatever we can of our abilities. (:

but okay, enough of the what ifs and should haves.
- switches on positive thinking -

when you wish upon a star, makes no difference who you are
anything your heart desires will come to you
if your heart is in your dream, no request is too extreme
when you wish upon a star, as dreamers do

must must must grab hold of this opportunity when it is still possible.

must must remember that it is never too late; there's still hope.

must achieve my dream no matter how hard it may take. :D

jiayou jingting! xD

happy birthday Wayne!

wahahah the second youngest in our clique to turn 21 !
wishing you all the best in everything you do,
and most importantly, stay happy and healthy (:
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awesome day spent with clique.
some minor hiccups in the plan but everything worked out in the end.
and wayne managed to complete our very evil dare - hugging 3 people :B
the staff at tom's palette was quite steady enough to help, hahah.

speaking of tom's palette, zomg their flavors for halloween is so unique!
there was toxic matter - some blue yellow potion looking thing.
and RIP Red Velvet - they placed sticks and chocolate spiders t deco.
both tasted quite nice but i loved RIP more :D

k session was damn fun too,
zomg seriously gangnam style seems like the tradition for us now. :x
and teoheng might be cheap,
but i prefer places like k suites or topone cause the sound system is way better.

just a simple but fulfilling day like this makes me damn happy,
really, quality time is priceless. (:

Made of Stone - Evanescence

Speak your mind, like I care
I can see your lips moving
I've just learned not to hear

Don't waste your time

Its never enough for you, baby
Don't want to play your game anymore
no matter what you say
I'm all out of love for you, baby
and now that I've tried everything
I'll numb the pain till I am made of stone

Take your time
I'm not scared
Make me everything you need me to be
so the judgement seems fair

Don't waste your time

Its never enough for you, baby
Don't want to play your game anymore
no matter what you say
I'm all out of love for you, baby
and now that I've tried everything

I'll numb the pain till I am made
to tear out my heart
for the way that it feels
I will still remember when you've long forgotten me

Its never enough for you, baby
Don't want to play your game anymore
no matter what you say
I'm all out of love for you, baby
and now that I've tried everything
I'll numb the pain till I am made of stone

satisfaction

awesome max saturday cause i managed to accomplish some tasks. :D

its a surprise; all i can say is, its a productive evening :B

struck aston's off my list of places to try!
initially planned on going everything with fries at katong.
but two people psycho-ed and tempted my inner aunty.
they say astons more worth it, and nice. so okay steady, switch.

my wallet says thank you and my tummy says its happy.
now i'm in love with the ice chocolate and baked potato. hahaha !

and satisfied my craving for awfully chocolate's hei ice cream too!
the bittersweet dark chocolate is absolute heaven.
kinda pricey, but okay la, to indulge once in awhile. :D

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my beloved beats earpiece (which came with my HTC) died today,
super sad cause this means no more good quality bass.
cant believe it spoilt so suddenly, and quite fast also cause its not even a year.
this is despite the care and concern i show it . :x

got myself a replacement - audio technica's cube earpiece.
considering if i should get heartbeats v.2 by lady gaga.
21st birthday present for myself. :D

detest

de·test
verb (used with object)
to feel abhorrence of; hate; dislike intensely.

each person has their own piss-off point.
we're all different, and we are entitled to our own point of view.

so what do i detest?

fake people.

never judge a book by its cover.
seriously, really.

someone who seems friendly may be the most lonely person.
having many friends does not signify anything. at all.
not unless you true to every single one of them.

your promises sound so steady, so onz,
but they are all but empty words.
what are words if you dont really mean them when you say them?

you smile, you laugh and you are so damn nice it seems unreal.
maybe it really is.

why is there a need to lie, to act, to deceive?
is it really that hard to be honest?

white lies i can understand.
but how pure are your real intentions?

corruption

i rmb on one of our trips to genting, something major happened at the customs.
pearlyn's passport kena denied by the immigration officer at the msia side.
cause it still had her baby photo, and she didnt update cause it was one year more to the expiry.

jh tried explaining to the woman, who was unsympathetic and didnt listen, and she got pissed mad.
seriously, if singapore immigration let us through, who are you to disagree?!
things got to the point where ahsai had to go up to the main office to see their in-charge.

i accompanied her there, and the in-charge kept asking ahsai for her IC.
which she obviously didnt have cause she wasnt even 16 yet.
she did have her ezlink card, thank goodness, which showed her IC no. and pic.
but you know what. the woman refused and said it wasnt enough proof !
like wtf, i put both the passport and ezlink side by side to show her the IC no.s are same.
and she still insisted that ahsai go back to singapore.

think i relentlessly persisted for 20 mins before they reluctantly agreed to let her pass.
i still had to tell them tt ahsai's parents were overseas, she no home to go back to (LOL), etc.
like really, why is it that they refuse to accept a logical explaination,
even when i have proof of ahsai's identity in the form of her ezlink card?

and now it suddenly dawned on me.
they were probably expecting something from us.
something that we might give in the moment of desperation. $_$


Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

who will guard the guards?

perseverance

attended Wayne's commissioning parade today with cliff.
both of them are officially officers now !
feeling so happy and proud for them,
cause they went through nine months of shit and came out shining. literally :D

to lead, to excel, to overcome.
with perseverance, anything can be possible.

how very true (:
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it takes a certain kind of stubbornness, a streak of strength,
to insist upon something that you deem worth holding on to.

my job is kinda shit cause patients pick on me and i kena maligned a lot.
patients refuse to listen, take my strictness for attitude.
but my colleagues make it worthwhile cause they are awesome people to work with.
we protect and take care of each other; our backs and butts are covered.
other than the job stability, they are the main reason i stay.

which is enough (:

rants.

a general rant cause i'm quite tired of people behaving like absolute shitheads.

1. smokers

number one kind of people i hate the most.
they smoke everywhere. EVERYWHERE.
they dont care how they're making others smell their cigs second hand. not even their BABIES.
yes i've seen parents who smoke while carrying their infant child.
they litter their cig butts all over the place.
anywhere they can smoke without risking the smoke alarm, they will.
some of them just light up and walk and walk and walk.
hello idiot, can you just stay in one place and finish it up?
instead of spreading it around the surroundings.

if it wasnt a crime to tackle their cigs, i totally would.
knock it out of their hands, pour water over it, i would.

seriously i wish someone could invent a portable smoking bubble.
make all smokers wear that over their heads and inhale every single shred of toxins.
this kind of air, no need to share. you can keep it to yourselves, tyvm.

i've always hated smoking, and even my relatives are scared of my constant nagging.
they avoid lighting up next to me, lolol. cause my niams are indeed v powerful, :B
my hatred of smoking has intensified, ever since it took away someone very important to me.
and i dont want history to repeat again. so i niam more.
thankfully now my dad is smoke-free. :D

now if only i could burn all the tobacco in the world..

2. rude drivers.

i curse and swear A LOT in the car.
now i finally understand why people yearn to remove their probation plate. -.-

because even when its other vehicles blocking MY way, I WILL KENA HORN.
i want to cut lane, people speed up to avoid having to give way.
and for some reason idk why, vehicles tailgate me like they're spies.

wtf its to the extent i feel like installing a pop-up middle finger on my car.
you know, i press a button and this giant middle finger raises to show my opinion?

sorta links me to the next topic.

3. rude people.

they are everywhere! be it patients or passerbys, they are getting ruder by the second.
okay its kinda exaggarating, but its super frustrating and driving me nuts.
acting all high and mighty,
full of self-righteousness and forever thinking that they're right.
super no manners one.

there are people who can step on my shoes and say nothing.
crowd around mrt doors so that they can chiong for seats once they enter.
make a mistake with queue numbers and blame me (!)
throw their bloody forms at me (!!)
bang into me while i'm just standing aside, and TSK ME (!!!)

can i throw moral education textbooks at them?
and they criticise OUR generation for being rude. pot calling kettle black please.

4. people with double standards.

ahahaha i am thinking of specific people when i write this.

like DAMN. what do you mean, i HAVE to do it for you?
you didnt say that? wow, then why did you throw a bitch fit the moment i said no?
then what do you mean, you always do everything for me?

why must everything go according to your plan, when its my life?
why can you do it while others cant?

i have never understood this kind of warped logic.

5. people who block the way.

drivers and pedestrians included.

5 guys, 1 road.
you'd think at least 1 of them could have the decency to step to the side/front so that people can pass.
but apparently they're doing some catwalk or movie shoot and cant be broken up.

yup thats right, they expect people to step on the grass just because their brotherhood is tt strong.

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went out with ahpok after his work.
we went on a food adventure again, hahaha.
this time, he recommended Karu's Curry
its all the way at .. upper bukit timah road omg hahahah.

the great lengths we go just to try food. :D
and eh i didnt drive hor ! purely public transport.
sometimes i wonder why i take my license for also, HAHAH.
i really dont like to drive to far places laaaa.

the previous time we did that was to go all the way to thomson road for Yureka Teppanyaki
managed to find the place only at the second try cause no specific directions where given. :x
and the food wasnt anything very awesome. plus kinda pricey. :x

but but Karu's Curry really very worth the trip!
imagine refillable nasi briyani. OMG GLUTTON'S DREAM *drools*
and each person only pays a freaking $3.20 for that okay.
outside stalls sell briyani for $6. seems like daylight robbery if you compare like that LOL.
the masala chicken was also damn nice, i love love the chilli.
okay whoever knows me well knows i cant resist chilli. hehehe.
and did i mention the pappadum which wasnt oily at all? :D

me and ahpok ate 2 servings each. bwahaha.

oh and the only bad thing is, you smell like indian food after going cause of the aircon. :xx

definitely going to go back someday,
hopefully with my parents cause
1. dad can drive, and
2. mom loves nasi briyani. plus its so cheap, even if she only takes one serving still worth :B

uber long post today.
tmr's a sunday, and i'm going brunch with the clique girls ! ♥

PSLE

which was deemed officially over by my youngest sister today.

in the past nine years I've never once seen her study so hard.
she occasionally would give in to temptation la;
trying to fit into the sofa while we were watching tv.
sadly she fail. kena niam and kicked back into the room HAHAH.

but she herself requested her tuition teacher for extra hours.
three hours of tuition in one go. omg hiong siao.
and after tuition she'd revise some more.

like i said to her that day. "I see you stress I feel very happy"
its really heartening to see my youngest sister finally putting in some effort in her studies.
in the past its always alot of scolding, kneeling (as her punishment),
and especially crying when her results come back as borderline pass/fail.
she'd always say she will start to study, blah blah, but each time its the same.

this time, we all witnessed her effort. :D
dont know if her last minute sprint will yield any results yet,
but its at least comforting to know that she did do the best she can.

its been nine years since my own PSLE.
honestly saying, within this short decade,
the general attitude towards Singapore's education has changed vastly.

kids nowadays are learning more than I did at the same age.
they start enrichment classes and whatnot when they were really young.
and what i was doing at age 4 was playing masak-masak. LOL.

is it really necessary to remove the element of fun from their childhood? :/

parents are complaining that PSLE is placing too much stress on the students,
calling for a change in the system, a total removal of PSLE.

which is total crap.

in my opinion, the reason behind the stress does not come from the exams itself.
but mostly from the kiasu parents who have pushed their kids to the limit and probably beyond.
with expectations soaring and comparisions flying,
how do you expect students of now to not feel stressed?

and stress is not always a bad thing, as exemplified by my sister.
it compels her to work hard, to give all she has got.
the key is BALANCE.

parents should probably reflect upon how their kiasu attitudes are affecting the younger generation.
yes, everyone wants success. but to what extent?

without PSLE, how will there be a fair system when enrolling for secondary schools?
without PSLE, how will students understand the stress of sitting for O/N/A levels?
without PSLE, how will schools set their standards for students?

and most importantly, no PSLE means no more aggregate to compare!
omg thats like a tradition among students, its such an important ice-breaking qns leh. :D

so yes i hope they never abolish PSLE,
cause if not next time how i haolian to my kids about my aggregate score? :B