satisfaction

feeling ridiculously happy and satisfied cause i just completed 95% of my bloody report!
same kind of euphoria i get from eating yummy food. :B

took me alot of procrastinating and bitching and falling asleep on my keyboard.
but its finally almost done. teehee.

its been kinda hard to get back on track after a term break,
esp when CNY mood is everywhere.
i dont feel it strongly but people around me do, so its not easy to focus :/

then again,
really, who am i kidding?

should have had more self-discipline. :x

my choices results in the life i have and will have.

sometimes as im browsing through instagram,
i envy those bloggers/blogshop owners.
they shop, fly, eat and enjoy.
luxuries that i cannot have.

but on deeper thought, they have put in hard work and efforts too.
just on a different level and method.

one day i will 飞去日本 jiak sushi too :D
for now, i'll make do with sakae .

forever and always

and she said
I want you forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We'll grow old together, and always remember
Whether happy or sad or whatever
We'll still love each other, forever and always

i have encountered many old patients in my course of work.
some of them come alone, most of them with their children.
occasionally they're with their equally frail other half.

seeing these old couples, really gives me this unexplainable surge of emotions.

i watch them holding each other's wrinkled hands,
guiding the other carefully out of the door.

i remember the uncle who brushed his daughter aside.
he insisted on pushing his wheelchair-bound wife personally into the room.
he then took a seat nearby because his legs are not that strong either.

i recall the white haired aunty reassuring her husband that it was going to be painless.
holding his hand tight as he watched the needle with fear.

and just today, i witnessed how a smile brightened an old man's face,
when i led his wife out after her ECG.
seriously, the moment he saw her he smiled super happily. and toothlessly.

from my own paternal grandparents, i also learnt lessons.

no matter how much ahma niam at ahgong, sometimes for no good reasons,
ahgong also took it good naturedly, never raising his voice.
even when he was frustrated, he chose to keep quiet instead of saying hurtful words.

when ahgong was sick, ahma took care of him unconditionally.
his mess, his food, his medication, everything she took care of.
even when she was emotionally and physically tired,
she tolerated and took care of him the best she could.

the heartbreaking fact is when one of them has to leave first.
the pain and loss she felt is incomparable.
when what was a whole became only half..

when we're young and naive teens, we search and crave for love.
without understanding what it really is.

elderly couples are the living testimonial that love is not about romance or flowers or gifts.
all those are just superficial.
it cannot be bought, only felt through sincere actions.
the kind of love which will last for decades.
living with the same person, watching him/her grow old.
tolerating each other's negatives and appreciating the positives.
it teaches patience, forbearance and forgiveness.

for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health.

forever and always.

Eyes Open - Taylor Swift

Everybody's waiting
Everybody's watching
Even when you're sleeping
Keep your eyes open

The tricky thing is yesterday we were just children
Playing soldiers
Just pretending
Dreaming dreams with happy endings
In backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords
But now we've stepped into a cruel world
Where everybody stands and keeps score

Keep your eyes open

Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown
Everybody's watching to see the fallout
Even when you're sleeping, sleeping
Keep your eyes open
Keep your eyes open
Keep your eyes open

So here you are, two steps ahead and staying on guard
Every lesson forms a new scar
They never thought you'd make it this far

But turn around (turn around), oh they've surrounded you
It's a showdown (showdown) and nobody comes to save you now

But you've got something they don't
Yeah you've got something they don't
You've just gotta keep your eyes open

Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown
Everybody's watching to see the fallout
Even when you're sleeping, sleeping
Keep your eyes open
Keep your eyes open
Keep your eyes

Keep your feet ready
Heartbeat steady
Keep your eyes open
Keep your aim locked
The night goes dark
Keep your eyes open

Everybody's waiting for you to breakdown
Everybody's watching to see the fallout
Even when you're sleeping, sleeping
Keep your eyes open

人不可貌相

never judge a book by its fucking cover,
no matter how well you think you know the story.

i think there's a limit to my tolerance and you just fucking crossed the line.

happy chinese new year !

wishing everyone a prosperous and smooth year!
most importantly, must stay healthy. (:

had an early reunion dinner with ahma's side this year,
cause first aunt and family has to go back to kuching.

the amount of hard work we put into preparation. hahahah.

with our beloved ahma.

had our usual steamboat hehehe.
my seating position is awesome, right in front of the abalone :D
some more this year kena stuck inside, means i dont have to pay my 'ERP', hahahah!

as usual, the girls all pedi/mani and the guys 游干泳

actual 除夕 reunion dinner was with waipo's side; a first for me.
another first being this year, my mum actually invited ahpok along, omg super happy. :D


first day was our standard, first ahma house, then waipo house.

ootd for day one. 

teehee bright yellow cause i'm 黄靖婷 ^.^V

the three meh mehs.  ♥

adorable baby fishball !!  ♥

my laopeh  ♥

laobu  ♥

my two sisters !  ♥

damn it, both taller than me liao. 

second day nua awhile at home before visiting third aunt's house.
this year managed to meet ahsai ! hahaha.
every time we cant meet, or the timing miss each other's hahah.

third day hosted my waipo's side at my house.
had fun playing dance central/kinect, esp when we forced the older ones to play LOL.

ricky martin's livin la vida loca

all the goodies 搬出来 

went back to ahma's hse in the evening cause first aunt came back liao :D
eeeee super happy to see her, even though its been 3 days nia.
just not the same when one of us is not around :x

CNY has always been my favorite holiday cause its really family time.
the atmosphere is slightly more quiet this year, actually.
not just this year, but ever since 2 years ago.
still missing ahgong, especially when ahma cried before we were having reunion dinner.
she's better than last year, but still. ):

must always treasure what we have right now.
before its too late.

determination

my life is mainly work, then work/study.

its mostly really very tiring.

my patience is tested almost everyday.

i complain about all these shit, quite a lot actually.

as much as i bitch about the shitty aspects, 

i have already come to terms that this is the life i have.

or at least, for now.

i have to study because a diploma is not enough. 

i want to be more, learn more. 

i know that i didnt do well in poly to go to a local uni, that was my mistake.

so now i'm making up for it.

i chose to pay my own school fees because i wanted to ease this load off my parents' shoulders.

i chose to take on my full time job cause i want the experience.

choy la, if i ever have to stay as med tech all my life, at least i will have an advantage already.

i love the team i am working with right now.

i'm steady enough to tackle the challenges which may come.

i feel accomplished when i'm able to solve shit which occur.

i chose to work part time cause my aunt needs my help.

to make life better for myself, financially.

i made my choice to choose these options,

but at the same time,

it doesnt mean nothing will change because everything always changes.

life isnt always about getting what you want; its not an all or nothing event.

you use your goals as an aim, not an ultimatum. 

its about living with what you have and making the best out of it.

its about grabbing opportunities when they arise.

i choose to vent, rant, bitch and complain.

but i will never choose quitting.

cause this girl's a fighter.

and i will persevere ! :D

永远记得，先苦后甜

bye january, hello february!

first month of 2013 is done,
what have you achieved in these 31 days?

so far, its been a generally lousy month for me. ):

work is not getting any smoother (what's new?) and is probably gonna get worse.
gotta face an increased workload for another 6 months, due to tampines polyclinic closure.
facing problems getting along with tamp's staff.
omg its almost like a re-run of last year july -.-
and workflow is just getting more complicated with so many stuff added.

got really disappointing results for my previous module.
cant believe i got such marks despite feeling confident for it.
really affected my mood, so demoralised. ):
shaun says its best if i keep fearing for my results,
cause i will get distinction when i worry. LOL idiot.

guess i gotta give my all for this current module to make up for it bahs.
cause what's done is done, no point regretting.
however its not gonna be easy.
other than adjusting back to my busy schedule after a 2 months break,
year three modules really require alot of dedication.
hope i can cope with it, on top of everything else. :x

some personal issues that have yet to be resolved.
its so annoying, cause i want to do smth abt it but i cant.
dont even know whats the best way to approach it, let alone solve.
feeling like a fucking human sandwich, with mind conflicting over emotions.
进退维谷 sia. zzz.
__________________________________________________________________________________

february. please be a little kinder and let me grow lesser wrinkles/white hair can?

so far everything still looks abit more positive cause there's CNY.
and CNY 2013 means a three day short break. no school no work nada. :D

first saturday of feb also placed me in a happy mood already.
work was still meh, but i got to meet bimb for a short lunch :D
and what's meeting the bff without gossip ?! hahahahah.
eh now i realised, we never take any camwhore shots damn it. roar.

had awesome dinner with ahpok too !
i forced him to think of places to eat cause he's more picky and i'm sick of deciding :x
so taa-daaa, he found this cafe in kampong glam.

Vintage Delicafe

66 Bussorah Street 199479
Nearest mrt: Bugis. Short walk from Sultan Mosque.
Phone : (65) 6297 9591
Email: vintage@vintagedelicafe.com.sg

the place was quite cosy and gave you this home feel. which i like.

best of all it serves quite a variety of western food !
did i mention it was halal? :D
*refer to old post regarding headache over finding unique halal places with good food.

kind of crowded but it was expected during a sat night.
despite the fact that they were busy,
the service staff still took time to ask if we were enjoying our meal.
really is thumbs up for the place, dont mind going back a second time. :B

the serious face and that smile :D

strawberry sparkling water for pok, apple sparkling water for me!

omg i actually forgot it was carbonated, then i challenged pok to a speed drinking competition.

first big swallow and i regretted. kept burping silently after that LOLOL.

Vintage homemade cream of mushroom soup. comes with garlic bread.

love love love.

got om nom mushroom slices inside, and the garlic bread can fight with pizza hut's.

you know its serious when i draw such comparisions.

mine! grilled dory (hahahah) marinated with paprika and herbs.

choice of cream of mushroom herb sauce or tomato. 

the first choice is actually the same mushroom soup, hahah.

should have chosen tomato cause the mushroom sauce didnt complement the marinate.

kinda covered the taste cause its creamy.

why no lemon butter sauce hor?! :x

taupok's grilled salmon with cream of mushroom herb sauce.

the salmon is freaking bloody goooood. 

i'm not even a fan of salmon, with its kind of fishy taste.

this one has no fishy taste at all. damn fresh. 

jh will definitely love this. *cues excited arms and face*

pricing is definitely worth it, based on the quality of the ingredients and its portion.
feeling very satisfied and sated. :B
with the ambience and great service, we're definitely going back heheh.
i know i want to try their pasta next time. :D

thank you pok, for tolerating my shitty attitude and rants for the whole month.