horrifying

you know how everyone says kids nowadays are different ?
more stress in school, more pampered.

well. after hearing what jx told me about her friends,
i think thats the least of worries.

its their attitudes and what they are doing which scares me. alot.

she's telling me about her friends who smoke in the school toilet.
their cigarettes are obtained from friends who steal them from their dad.
classmates who put on makeup, have piercings.
friends who cut their wrists.

and her web of relationships are so complicated.
what fling what ex-bf/gf, god-brother and what not.

did i mention jx is just in PRIMARY SCHOOL?

wtf right. this kind of things, i only heard of during sec school/poly.

omg thank my lucky stars i'm a 199x kid.
if i were her generation, i'd probably die in primary school sia.
i barely survived rss at that time with all that rich kids shit.
cant imagine with all this kind of drama.

i'd probably be picked on even more x_X

scary.

mistakes

every action has a consequence.
and every event happens as a chain of consequences.

i often ask myself, what if?
what went right and where did i go wrong.
what can i do next to make things better.
and most importantly, if i could turn back time,
what could i do to change it.

sadly, there is no turning back.

one action just leads to another.
a chain which cant be broken.

and some damages can never be repaired.

it just sucks that in the end, you still cant avoid the inevitable, no matter how hard you try.

forgive me for not being perfect, will you?

USS with family !

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUANJIE! :D

decided to go universal studios singapore to celebrate cj and jh's birthday!
both of them havent been there before, and have been wanting to go for ages.

and i couldnt wait to take the transformers ride!

which i did. and omg it was freaking awesome.
its a roller coaster + 3D ride, and the first one ahpok didnt nearly die of, LOL.
probably because the cinematics was awesome enough to distract him. :D

completed my battlestar galactica challenge too heheh.
the first time i went i took the human route.
this time its the cyclon route.
can you say 360 degree turns and few times upside down? :B

and yup, i did it alone. again.
everyone chickened out after the human route they took before i came.
i was left to happily run towards the nonexistent queue, due to the rain.
i dont mind repeating my stunt though. ^_^

best part of the whole thing, we managed to convince mummy to go with us!
and very surprisingly she was very steady about going for the rides.
transformers, the mummy, she was like, bring it on. (Y)
now i know where i inherited my guts from.

very simple and awesome shit day :D

birthday boy

with our bfs :D

my super duper awesome mum and sisters

hi. we're so cute :D 

my two adorable aunts/oranges. :D

group photo !

with cousin JJ ! :D

______________________________________________________________


Tell me is that what happens just for having a good intention
Look what happened to my good intentions
Why won't anybody answer my question
Why is the silence so loud?
I think I've thrown it all the way
I don't know, I don't know
But lemme know
Hear me out before you label me the bad one

the smell of freedom

In September i was notified that UWA had reviewed its course structure,

and i had to attend an advisory session for pathway adjustment.

the dates for the sessions actually clashed with the days i was at sentosa with ahpok.

i could choose to email askUWA if i couldnt make it,

but being the awesome bf tt he is, he said it was okay to go down to psb just for it.

better to clarify and confirm everything personally ma.

v satisfied with the outcome cause i had a total of 2 exemptions and 3 removed units.

which meant 5 x $1.7k = $8.5k savings!

and it also meant i could graduate earlier. hehehe. :D

but the sucky thing was, with the adjustment i had to cancel my travelling plans to taiwan.

cause instead of a break in March it was pushed to Sept.

and both my steady travel buddies - bimb and cliff - had alr started school. :/

suck thumb nia lorhs, have to delay again.

and due to overseas plans in Dec, i would be missing 2 practicals for my G6 term.

to fulfill course requirements and to fill their pockets, i had to pay $150 for make-up prac.

LIKE SERIOUSLY. EVEN MC ALSO MUST PAY WTF.

AND THEN.

i received a notice from UWA for re-enrolment for academic year 2013.

and in that email they mentioned one of my rearranged modules had changed its availability.

instead of being offered in G3/4, its gonna be in G1/2 2013.

naturally i panicked.

so what's gonna happen to my original G1/2 units?

cause what the hell, please dont tell me i need to extend my course duration.

push and push till i will graduate later than the original. -.-

at this point i was feeling fucking pissed with all the admin screw-ups that UWA was giving.

so i sent this angry email to askUWA.

and guess what?

" There have been changes to your course pathway since the advisory session, 

please take note as follows.."

WTF THANKS LOR UWA/PSB.

update also dont tell me, make me panic like shit !

okay la also my own fault minimally cause i thought the deadline for re-enrolment was 18th nov.

when its actually 18th dec, bwhahaha ! 

i still tell them in my email its URGENT and please reply ASAP. :x

but hey, so long as it gets done right. :B

so final story is.

i'm on vacation from now till 25th Jan 2013

wahahah cause my G3/4 unit kena push up to G1/2, 

then G1/2 kena push down to G1/2 2014, but i alr have exemption for that.

G6 2012 module can take in G4 2013, so i can escape from missing prac. 

another positive side is that next year i'm gonna have more breaks cause of unit blanks.

its all alternate so i also wont slack off and lose the pace to study.

AND TAIWAN TRIP MIGHT BE POSSIBLE. :DD

so yes, imma free bird hehehehehehe.

the moment i dropped the change of enrolment form, omg i felt so happy !

imagine all my evenings are now free.

except for clinic work which i can still arrange in advance.

so far i've found the time to:

visit baby wayne and ahma.

sleep before 12pm without feeling guilty.

watch walking dead season 2.

play dance central 2.

all on weekdays. and its only tuesday! *grins*

moral of this absurdly long post?

all things happen for a reason. and will work out in the end. :D

5th year x gardens by the bay!

almost every anniversary, we must go somewhere new.
1st year was at Singapore Flyer
last year was at Universal Studios.
this year was at Gardens By The Bay ! :D

i guessed the location as soon as he reminded me to bring a camera HAHA.

thank goodness he told me lor!
because i ended up snapping photos of almost everything.
took a total of 300 plus pictures there :D

other than the heritage gardens, we went to the flower dome conservatory.
we were happy to pay 12 bucks for air-con on such a hot day. hahah!

the flower dome features mainly mediterranean and australian plants,
and in addition there are floral displays which change with seasons.
this time it was autumn when we visited!
so there was a v pretty harvest theme, and everything was orange, yellow and red.
simply amazing. :D

first real bouquet in 5 years. hahaha :D

  

dragonfly walk and OCBC skyway.

 

 

the one on the right is damn cool. looks like a metal flower !

 

 

the true flowers are much more purple and striking in real life; photos dont do them justice.

 

cant help but think of cross-fertilisation and genetics when i see these hybrids
i'm such a geek :3

 

 

autumn harvest. spot the cheeken staring at YOU. :B

 

actually i'm in love with daisies. :D

 

teeko ahpok and emo me. HAHAHA.

  

thank you ahpok for such an awesome surprise! :D

watched ah boys to men on the same day too.
i love the parts where they reminisced about the old army days omg.
ahpok was also v nostalgic when they showed all the tekong shit (:
cant wait for part two!

love is just so simple.

this post has the consistency of mashed potatoes.
read: very mushy.

only continue if you can take it. HAHAH.
________________________________________________________________________________

its been five years since we've been together, ahpok and me.
the journey has not been easy,
cause we've had to fight our way through.
we faced our personal demons, learnt how to complement and contrast each other.
and most importantly, this year we overcame one of the most important barriers ever.
specifically my family's acceptance. (:

till now i still cant believe how easy it turned out.
my mom even sides him now wtf ! always asking me not to bully him :x
but whats a bf for if not to bully? mwahahah :D

and its kinda amazing, the way we met.
who knows that i'll ever meet my soulmate through.. maple?
and to think that he lives so nearby too.
yes thats the official story, more than the mutual friends crap i've been telling people LOL.
didnt want people to judge us more than they alr do, cause of the race thing.
but now i'm no longer caring. (:

past the stage where i feel conscious of people staring and pointing at us.
you people dont affect me anymore because all i know,
is that having him beside me is the luckiest thing ever.

i love the way that he is always patient with me.
being my alarm clock is not easy, EVER.
he is the one who calls me till i finally answer.
his highest record ever was 25 missed calls WTF.
i honestly admit that my own record for him is a measly 10.
cause i'd get sooooo pissed off i give up calling LOL.

i love the way that he lets me indulge in retail therapy.
he's one of my advisors when it comes to deciding on my buys, heheh.
and he even pushes me into my favourite store; KissJane. like seriously.
BUT he does sometimes remind me to exercise some control though.
yet he never really tries to stop me from buying when he knows i like it. (:

i love the way he's always looking out for my interest.
he does stupid things though, like ___________________________. ahpok you know this!
sometimes i cant believe he can be so stupidly selfless.
yet i'm touched by the way he can love me more than i deserve.

i love the way he never controls me.
he doesnt complain when i'm too busy to meet him, like during OLTC/OCP times
neither does he try to limit the amount of time i spend with my clique.
omg best thing is, he even lets them have the nearest saturday to my upcoming birthday.

i love the way he encourages me.
i love how he can read my mind, and vice versa.

in short, i love the way he loves me.

i'll be your shelter, i'll be your storm.
i'll make you shiver, i'll keep you warm.
whatever weather, baby i'm yours.
be your forever, be your fling,
baby i will be your everything. (:

like a G6

like seriously i havent felt this relaxed and happy since dont know when.

few hours ago i was feeling so screwed cause mom got injured,
and me myself kena bad cramps. on exam day.
like goodness knows what will happen next.

then i took a deep breath, and stepped into the exam hall.
1 hour 30 mins later, stepped out feeling like the happiest shit in the world. :D

cause even though its temporary, i'm free from school!
no lecture till monday. and its only thursday. :D
no need to copy notes like a typewriter.
no need to memorise my stupid factors of combinatorial control liao. teehee.

this might seem like a trivial matter to others,
but it really feels like a stone kena lifted and thrown away.
cause i have so little time for myself when i have both school and work.
even few days of freedom seems limitless to me. x)

supper with levon teo made it more awesome.
poor bimb couldnt make it cause she got test tmr. :x
satisfied my craving for custard bun! hehehe.
and of course our forever essential gossip. HAHAH.

looking forward to 5th year anniversary with ahpok tmr ! :D

下雨天了怎么办，我好想你

such a rainy, grey evening.
and some thoughts made my day additionally gloomy.
_______________________________________________________________________________

it was such a simple conversation between my colleagues.
adele was talking about how her daughter loves fish porridge.

and i thought of my ahgong.

he disliked fish porridge, especially after he fell sick and his taste changed.
due to the tumor pressing against one of the vocal nerves, he also couldnt speak.
ahma didnt realise it yet; she thought fish porridge would be good for him.
and who can blame her?
she has to undertake the mental and physical stress of taking care of her frail husband.
its not easy at all.

ahgong couldnt finish it almost all the time.
one bowl was all he could take. and sometimes less than that.
ahma was so upset whenever he started shaking his head, indicating he had enough.
she felt so helpless, cause he barely ate anything.

i happened to be feeding him one day, on a monday.
i remember because the market is usually closed and there was no fish.
so he had carrot and potato porridge.

i thought of this brilliant idea to place smaller amounts into a bowl.
and you know, if he saw that he could finish "one" bowl,
he'd be encouraged to eat more.

and ahgong did. (:

i kaypoh asked him if he liked the porridge; he nodded.
then i asked him if he preferred fish or this kind.
hahah, i can still recall his face when he heard fish porridge. 皱眉头 ttm!

from then on, ahma never tried to make him eat fish porridge alr. :B

______________________________________________________________________________

i went back to sgh last wednesday.
flooded by a torrent of memories, as usual.

seeing NCC, at first i felt really upset.
its not a good place to have to walk into.

but i recalled, how ahgong took my intern pass and clipped it to his shirt.
how he asked his oncologist if he wanted to join us for bak kut teh.
how he loves to drink the starfruit juice there.
how he found it really silly to go there for a 10 minute radiotherapy every day for 3 weeks.
seriously! he goes in there, takes out his shirt, 5 minutes later can go home liao. hahah.
i can never forget the shocked expression he gave when we said he could go home. :D

_______________________________________________________________________________

its been almost two years since ahgong has left.
yet small details can still trigger off a string of memories.

we lose our loved ones and we learn to accept and move on.
but we never forget. ever.

what is love?

L, is for the way you look at me.
O, is for the only one i see.
V, is very very extraordinary.
E, is even more than anyone that you adore.

love is when you feel really happy, blessed and lucky.
its one of the best feelings.
like nothing bad can happen, nothing can go wrong.

but it can sometimes be overrated.

love can be materialistic.
love can be blind.
love can be stupid and stubborn.
love can hurt us the way nothing else can.

so why do some of us crave love so much?
are the possible consequences worth it?

i guess, everything has two sides. its just how one chooses to view it. (:

for me, i'd summarize everything in one word.
love is .. sacrifice.

not asking for anything except for the one i love to be truly happy.
i dont need roses or any gifts.
just his smile will suffice. (:


Love is all that I can give to you
Love is more than just a game for two
Two in love can make it
Take my heart and please don't break it
Love was made for me and you

skinny vs glutton

there are some times where i feel conscious about myself.
like i see those really skinny girls and think,
wah damn their arms/legs/tummy really is skinny one siaa.
and i start thinking about how i stand in comparison.

i'll be thinking thoughts like,
wah i need to start exercising everyday.
should start jogging, do situps, pushups, etc.

then i think about controlling my diet..

and then all hope is lost HAHAHA.
seriously the moment i think about cutting down on food i'm like, hell no. NO. LOL.
cause seriously ! food is so essential to me.
once a year fasting with ahpok during ramadan can torture me liao.
imagine cutting down on my food.. omg i will die before i lose weight.

i'm already not eating as much leh.
breakfast is usually bread/bao.
lunch is.. super unhealthy hahah. instant soup + bread/biscuits. life of a broke uni student. ._.
dinner is more heavy, either mom's cooking or i eat out.
so tell me, how to cut down?
anymore i'll be suffering from gastritis first, not anorexia :x

i guess the true way to control is not by portion but by food group bahs.
not too much carbs before sleep.
not too much fried food.
not too much sweet stuff. not a problem cause i dont have a sweet tooth :B
eat more vegetables and fruits!
omg i know i need to incorporate more of these into my system. :x

but yeah, i guess i wont be losing weight anytime soon :D

__________________________________________________________________________________

went Buffet Town with second aunt and uncle and jh on thursday!
(omg this is the kind of gluttony i'm talking about)

aunt wanted to treat us for our birthdays :D

food was really fresh and yums, but variety was so so only.

 

me and jh.  2nd uncle waving his lobsters. and thats 2nd aunt !
any resemblance? hahaha.
i think we look alot like our aunts cause we're very close, they literally brought us up (:
i have many things to thank them for.

 Buffet Town at Raffles City, B1!

My first try with oysters. these are really very fresh and there's no fishy seafood smell!

love it especially with tabasco sauce and lemon.

penne pasta with tomatoes, bacon and mushrooms.

okok cause some of the pasta was undercooked :x

 inari sushi and rainbow maki !

my vegetable teppanyaki.

actually supposed to choose mussels/pork/squid to pair with but i chose neither. :x

seafood galore!

fresh sashimi. undoubtedly jh's favourite.

"these are so fresh! so gooooood!"

one of the few times she gushes over food LOL.

 tempura. er disappointing cause it was cold and flour was too thick.

dory fish, roasted spice chicken, potatoes and mushroom pizza.

when i saw people carrying this i grabbed jh and went: "chawanmushi!!!"

turned out to be soup wtf. ._.

happy dinner :D